Monday, January 16, 2012

I'm not making any promises

I'm embarrassed by how long it's taken me to post.

Don't look at me, I'm blushing.

I've just had a damn hard time organizing thoughts, choosing a focus, and living up to the sentiment of New Year posts. I felt like I should be writing reflections and resolutions, and I couldn't. What makes the first of one month different from the first of another, really? So, instead of writing, I've been eating package after package of Holiday Oreos (just .89 cents at Target), and reading the poems of Billy Collins.

Today marks the first day of a weight-loss challenge I'm participating in. Yesterday, I watched the Golden Globes. The day before that, my husband took me on a really nice date. Last week, I was at work, feeling half as grown up as I looked, looking half as grown up as everyone else. Almost a month ago, I was leaving on a plane for Kansas, thinking of how nice it would be to be with family, and that three hour flights can feel very, very long. Steven and I have been together for four years. My brothers are growing up. My grandma should write a memoir. I should write a blog.

So on and so forth, these thoughts have skipped like rocks on the water. One hop, two hop, until they sink heavily to the bottom. Nothing rocks, blurry thoughts.

I think that Spring would be the best time to make life improvements. Not the dead of winter, when everything is frozen, most especially my motivation. Good luck to all of you who have ambitiously made lists of resolutions, and good health to those of you who are sick. I'll write again, when I'm sure I have something to say.


  1. Such beautiful writing to say I have nothing to write about!
    I am pretty sure you always have something to say. One of these days you will quit holding it all so closely.
    In the meantime, we will wait patiently.

  2. More than anything, people are just glad to hear from you when you write here. Even if they don't always comment (guilty).

  3. you just inspired me to read some Billy Collins again. he's my fave american poet fo sho...especially "Intro to Poetry." miss you.

  4. Change/improvement should be authentic. Should happen when it feels right for you, not because someone counted backward from 10 and dropped a big ball. Most of the resolutions people have made will be abandoned by February, anyway. It's very natural to kind of hibernate in the winter, and blossom in the spring--in tune with the weather. So kudos to you for being self-aware enough to recognize that.