Monday, February 11, 2013

Where Are They Now?

I’ve been prompted multiple times since college -when trying to decide on a career- to think of what I would do if no one were paying me. What would I do if it weren’t about the money? I know this is meant to be a liberating question- the clouds should part for the sun to shine on the one thing-the sum of my talents and joys- that would lead to purpose, meaning, AND a paycheck, but that hasn't worked for me yet.

Before starting my undergrad, I asked myself What do I like to do?
I like to read books and sing show tunes. I like to drink coffee and eat popcorn. I like to ask foreigners how to say __________ in their native language and then I like to repeat that phrase back to them every time I see them. I like to make friends. I like to pull my suitcase through airports, especially when wearing a scarf.
With that list in mind, I became an English major. I read a lot of books and drank a lot of coffee and watched the movie versions of those books and ate a lot of popcorn. I saw my friends in shows, but didn't do any myself. And then I graduated and started looking for a job. And I found a job, but not THE job. I'm still hoping for THE job, but maybe there is no such thing. In which case, What would I do if it weren't about money? That, my friends, is called Saturday.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Hello Again

I’ve been doing a lot of online window shopping, browsing shoes and international flights. There is a pair of boots I have my eye on that would go VERY well with London. I’ve also been uncomfortably full for a couple days now, but I keep on eating. I’m currently dealing with some stresses in the form of questions about my/our future, in the form of doubt about where we are right now versus where we should be etc. And I’m sure some of you might argue that where you are is where you should be but we all know that is not always true. We are not always where we should be. And then, there are many of you who would say be where you are, but I’m not very good at that. Which is part of why I can’t stop eating. The other part is that food is just so darn good.

I had lunch with a friend today. It was delicious, thank you, and while we visited we talked about the periods of life when you feel like you’re all over the place and everything is coming up question marks:
What do I want to do? Am I preoccupied with the idea that there is something unique for me to do?
How can I get my hair to grow faster?
Why is it, exactly, that I have MULTIPLE pieces of clothing with safety pins holding them together?
Where can I find the Willie Wonka candy that tastes like a three-course meal? Girlfriend NEEDS to stop eating.

As you can see, I have a lot on my mind. It makes me want to take a leave of absence, borrow allthemusicals from the library, and sit on the couch with my cat.